There's this neat-o site called "the Kooks Museum":
http://home.pacifier.com/~dkossy/kooksmus.html

It has these galleries:

=============
Schizophrenic Wing
Stand terrified at the feet of the "Worldwide Computer God Frankenstein
Controls" revealed by Francis E. Dec, Esquire, FOR YOUR ONLY HOPE FOR A
FUTURE!

Conspiracy Corridor
Situated next door to the Hall of Hate, only enter Conspiracy Corridor
with the utmost caution, for you may never return.

Hall of Hate
Whom do you hate: Jews? Communists? White Males? Satan? Bill Gates?
Here is your own special place.

Library of Questionable Scholarship
Defy gravity! Feel perpetual motion! See UFOs emerge from within the
Hollow Earth! Visit MIT's Archive of Useless Research!

Gallery of the Gods
Visit all the important deities, each displayed in a lifelike diorama
setting.

Solution to the World Problem Exhibit
Every problem on earth SOLVED by utilizing one simple idea, which has
been tragically overlooked by all world leaders, UNTIL NOW.
============

And guess what? They have a WHOLE SECTION about that closed-minded,
verbally-abusive George Hammond!

SO...

Submitted for your approval: one Mister George Hammond. A petty little
man with delusions of grandeur -- and a theory. A theory, the likes of
which can only be found...

in the Twilight Zone.


=[ d

=============
GEORGE HAMMOND'S 4-WAY UNIVERSE

After studying Einstein's General Theory of Relativity for two years as
a doctoral candidate in physics, George Hammond admits that he never
did "understand a word of it." Twenty years later, Hammond applied that
same General Theory of Relativity to life, and attained something far
more satisfying than a Phd. He found the "scientific proof of God."

Hammond's treatise, The Origin of the Cross (published in 1986), is the
culmination of 5 years of "nearly full time and continuous research"
into psychology, physiology, zoology and theology, as well as a deep
probing of the Congressional Quarterly. Contained in the treatise is
the scientific theory which Hammond believes will revolutionize
psychology, neurology, theology and political science; application of
the theory could alter the course of human history.

Hammond's hypothesis is that just about everything -- human anatomy,
the brain, psychology, theology and government -- follows the structure
of the Cartesian Coordinate System. Hammond's observation that all
these seemingly disparate phenomena have the same 4-way structure
yields fantastic results:

[T]he Bicameral/Two-Party [political] system is the macroscopic
manifestation of the Cartesian structure of psychology. ... the Cross
of Christianity is obviously the symbolic representation of the
Cartesian Structure of the human mind. ...the Four Gospels of the New
Testament are seen to be exactly the historical representations of the
four personalities of the Structural Model of Personality in
psychology. This theory not only provides a proof of the
Bicameral/Two-Party system, it provides a scientific proof of
Christianity.

In his fervor to prove his theory, Hammond combines conventional logic
and the results of scientific studies with his own lingering
schizophrenic trains of thought; in addition to the classical forms of
argument he relies heavily on arguments based on appearances and the
sounds of words. Hammond's analysis of Freud's "Personality Diagram" is
a good example of this:

.... the author [Hammond] has shown how the Freudian diagram becomes
the Cartesian diagram. What Freud has called Repressed, the author
interprets for these purposes, as the "Oppressed", the Libido, (the
vast poverty stricken sector of the world, the lower left; Africa,
Asia, India, etc., etc.) The small bubble labeled pcpt.-cns.
(perceptual-conscious) the author takes to be an eye. On the other side
of the diagram is a symmetric open space without an eye. Freud has
drawn a "one eyed" diagram. The author interprets this as the fact that
he discovered what has only recently been discovered by modern
research, that the right brain is predominantly visual. If we complete
Freud's diagram by adding the left eye, we have a face and it is the
face of a man. The unconscious mind is now seen to lie in the middle,
the deepest part of the brain.

The result of this kind of logic is a theory that begins as a model for
social psychology, but ends up showing that the DNA molecule contains
Heaven and that General Relativity is the mathematical proof of God.
Hammond came upon his theory--not as an instantaneous revelation--but
gradually:

This theory came about as a practical matter as a way of
identifying which groups of people were antagonistic towards me, which
groups were indifferent and which groups were friendly. Just on the
grounds of first impressions. For instance if I were a cab driver in a
military town, I might find that WAVES were more familiar than WACS, or
Corporals liked me more than Sergeants. After a while, of this
continued observation and negotiation with people, the thing began to
appear as a simple "angle" or geometry. There were basically people
above me in class and people below me in class and each class seemed to
be divided in half, bad and good. The bads were against me and the
goods were for me, up or down. As time progressed I realized that it
wasn't bad and good, it was some kind of basic difference. The whole
thing was a nearly visible, "X". It was some kind of an up, a down, a
left and a right. I seemed to be more in the upper left, and the people
that really didn't like me were lower right! I soon came to realize
that the left and the right were the political left and the political
right, the Democrats and the Republicans. Lower class Republicans
definitely don't like me. Upper class Republicans are kind of stand
offish but mainly indifferent. Lower class Democrats are friendly but
basically indifferent. Upper class Democrats are "my people."

Hammond had heard of Julian Jaynes' Bicameral Mind theory before, but
hadn't been interested. Now, he "suddenly grabbed Jaynes' book like it
was the answer to my problem." He knew now that "the left and the right
was the Bicameral Mind! Between the well known 'class struggle' and the
Bicameral Mind, I had found out what 'X' was!" Hammond conjectured that
the "left" and the "right" in politics actually correspond to the left
and right brains, and, analogously, the Senate and the House correspond
to the "upper" and "lower" brain, forming a Bicameral/2-Party political
system, or BI/2P for short.

Every day for three months, Hammond rode his bicycle 10 miles to the
library, and spent 8 hours going over the Congressional Quarterly to
confirm his hypothesis. He was trying to plot congressional voting on a
cartesian graph, but collapsed in the library and was taken to a
hospital, a result of overwork and skipping meals. Hammond wisely went
on to other matters and, instead of confirming his theory, he expanded
it to include Freud's four "personalities," The Four Gospels of the New
Testament and the "Four Estates." The resulting correspondences a

Quadrant Freud Legislature Gospel Estate

Upper Right SuperEgo Senate Republicans Luke Nobility
Upper Left ID Senate Democrats John Clergy
Lower Right Ego House Republicans Matthew Military
Lower Left Libido House Democrats Mark Peasants

Hammond wanted hard evidence for this 4-way structure. Proceeding "with
baited breath, to the anatomy archives to find out if this could be
possible," the budding scientist discovered, among other confirmations
of his theory, the so-called "Molluscan Cross," a 4-way structure
formed at the 128-cell stage in the development of a mollusk. The four
center cells form the mollusk's "quadrapartite" brain. Hammond was
astounded to learn that "this structure ... is probably the closest
known thing to the scientific origin of the Cross of Christianity!!"
Furthermore, he found that "Lo and behold, it turns out that the entire
human body is based on Cartesian geometry! From the egg to the adult,
the whole thing is Cartesian!"

Hammond points out that the 2-way theory of the brain hasn't yielded
results anywhere near as amazing as this. In contrast, the 4-way theory
is what would be termed a "fundamental result."

Armed with a fundamental breakthrough, Hammond is now free to speculate
on such "mysteries" as why Social Class is on the vertical axis while
Political Party is horizontal. Social Class, he reasons, is simply a
result of "height differential" between the upper and lower class; it's
a documented fact that the average height in the U.S. Senate is 3.5
inches higher than the norm; and so, by default, Political Party is
horizontal. Furthermore, Hammond "would be willing to bet" that a high
proportion of Democrats are left-handed; therefore, the BI/2P system is
simply "the tall the short the right and the left."

But, ultimately, the positions of the two axes are caused by even more
fundamental forces: the vertical influence is gravity, while the
horizontal influence is the earth's rotation. And, since the left-right
orientation of the earth's rotation is reversed in the Northern and
Southern hemispheres, the "rights" originate in the north, while the
"lefts" originate in the south. "The BI/2P System then, is the result
of terrestrial influences acting on the Cartesian geometry of the human
body."

There are other influences as well, first and foremost the basic human
desire to raise the standard of living. This drive, Hammond asserts, is
actually what Freud called the Libido. Hammond then, rather than
consulting a dictionary, applies the psychoanalytical method of free
association to analyze the meaning of "Libido":

Now if [the Libido is the desire to raise the standard of living]
why, one wonders, did Freud come up with the name "Libido" for it? Now
I don't believe in looking words up in the dictionary, I think you can
tell what every word means just by the sound of it and I'm wondering
why he named it the Libido. My interpretation is this, Libido sounds
like liberal maybe even limbo. Now liberals are poor people, anybody
with money sure isn't a liberal. Furthermore any names ending in o are
usually lower class names, like limbo which is some kind of African
voodoo dance. So what Libido means, or rather, who they are, is the
lower class poor people. ... The point that I'm making is this, if
there is a central motivation in psychology and it is the desire to
survive, these people must have a lot of it, it's the only thing that
keeps them going. ...

For the purposes of Hammond's grand theory, he calls this aspect of
Libido the "Albedo," using it to complete the scientific proof of
Christianity. To do this, Hammond explains The Trinity, as well as a
host of other 3-way systems on the Control Theory concepts of Input,
Output and Feedback:

Control Theory Freud Government Trinity Consciousness

Input Superego Executive Father Unconscious mind
Output Ego Legislative Son Conscious mind
Feedback Id Judiciary Holy Ghost Albedo


To Hammond, the most important application of Control Theory however,
is to Human Progress: Input is the Genetic Code; Output is Human
Development; and Feedback is "the law of nature, physics, society,
etc." Hammond maintains that when our physical and psychological
development finally catches up with our genetic code (in about 5000
years), we will have reached the Kingdom of God. Thus, according to an
equation in control theory, as the standard of living approaches
infinity, psychological and physical development approaches 100%, or
the Kingdom of God. Furthermore, it is "intuitively obvious to even a
casual observer that an 'infinite standard of living' is possible."
Therefore Hammond has achieved no less than a scientific proof that The
Kingdom of God is possible. Hammond the scientific prophet asserts:

In a few decades or less we can assume that the Three Branches of
Government and the Bicameral/Two-Party system will be generally
accepted as the basic form of government in all nations. An identity
with the Trinity and the Cross in religion. The United Nations will
probably manifest this form also. An enormous stabilization of world
politics will ensue. Drastic (up to 50%, I have heard) cuts will be
made in nuclear arsenals. A program of military buildown, in inverse
proportion to the standard of living will become the new long range
military philosophy.

.... The scientific theory of psychology and theology will unify all
governments all cultures all languages and all religions. They are all
simply embellishments of the same simple structure, the Cross. ...The
unity of mankind is achieved in the scientifically proven form of
universal government. ...

A universal language can be expected to be achieved within 500 to a
thousand years and poverty eliminated before that. Genetic control of
all diseases and illnesses within 1000 to 2000 years. Within 3000 years
the aging process will no longer be considered a problem. By the year
6,000 food clothing and shelter will be as free as the air we breathe.
By the year 7,000 every living person will be God.

Though Hammond's wild leaps from control theory and physics into
mysticism are not liable to convince any physicists, his observations
and correspondences are thought-provoking. We tend to take the
structures of our institutions (such as the legislature), our social
classes and our symbols (such as the cross) for granted, and seldom ask
if they might be otherwise. Hammond does ask interesting questions even
though he does seem to know the answers prior to conducting any
research. And some of his observations are in line with the
observations of others. His identification of the cross as a basic
symbol--though Hammond doesn't seem to know this--is in agreement with
the psychological observations of Jung. Jung also identified four
psychological "functions": feeling, thinking, sensation and intuition.
Furthermore, Hammond's application of abstruse scientific fields like
control theory, to anything and everything, may not yield any hard
scientific data, but it does make one think. Clearly, without such
conjectures and wild hypotheses, there would be no exploration, no
experiments and no new discoveries.

While they might not be important to science, Hammond's "discoveries"
are all-important to Hammond. In fact, as he reports in The Origin of
the Cross, they basically give meaning and value to a life which, until
he made them, was awash in depression and failure. While struggling
with severe personal problems, Hammond was able to forge a meaningful
connection between God, Society, and his own psyche; for this, he
deserves our admiration.

Bibliography

Hammond, George. The Origin of the Cross. Hyannis, MA: Hammond
Psychology Publishing, 1988.

Update on George Hammond:
It seems Hammond has re-entered academia, only this time in the field
of psychology. His fully illustrated theories, minus the part about
God, are available on the web: Hammond Manuscripts
© 1995 Donna Kossy