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Einstein's carnal legacy



 
 
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  #1  
Old March 31st 08 posted to sci.physics,sci.physics.relativity,de.sci.physik
hanson
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 8,066
Default Einstein's carnal legacy

API/UPI -------------------------- Ulm's city news service.
Ulmer Stadtzeitung -- By Karl Peter Stachel, 04-01-2008.

***** Einstein's Foreskin Found. *****

Under special arrangements with Ulm's urban renewal and
redevelopment agency, German archeologists from the University
of Munich were granted a few days for archeological investigations
on the Ulmer Bahnhofstrasse, prior to the begin of demolition
activities by city construction crews.

There, in Einstein's house of birth on Bahnhofstrasse 20, in Ulm,
they discovered behind an alcove an old, sealed perfume bottle,
filled with formalin and labeled as "Von userem liebsten Albertle,
14. März 1879" (From our dearest Baby Albert).
It turned out that the small, grayish lump within the bottle was originally
Einstein's foreskin and was kept there on the wishes of his mother.

The find was hailed as very significant by Einstein's disciples to
whom this artifact appears to be as dear as the Dead Sea scrolls
are to Christianity.

The current Ulmer Moel, Ariel Meir-Cohn, was consulted and he
asserted that the foreskin could have been indeed a sentimental
keep sake by Einstein's parents, in memory of their Baby Albert's
circumcision on 14 March, 1879 .

To verify, the descendents of the then operative Moel in charge, circa
1879, Baruch Messerman, were located and interviewed by local TV
and the investigations are continuing into this just breaking story. The
Messermans said that they would check their family records at home
and in their synagogue for further clues.

Meanwhile, Einstein's penile residue was flown to McMaster in the USA
who maintains a "brain bank" where Einstein's brain has been preserved
in a jar. Einstein's pickled brain and his foreskin and will undergo
DNA analysis to see whether the two have something in common.

-----------------------------


Berkley, CA. --- Herald Clarion wire dispatch --- 04-01-2008

Referring to the above "Ulm" item the respected Herald Clarion will
report in tomorrow's edition that researchers from the LaVey Institute for
Advanced Optics have made holographic records of more than 2 doz.
video/audio apparitions of Einstein's ghostly appearance in the locale
where his pickled brain and his foreskin do reside these days. The
2 lead scientists, Rabbinical Professor Stickel Gruber and Professor
Dzhugashvili are in disagreement whether the phenomena occurred
due to optical Faraday effects of irreducible tensorials in R(3) of the
longitudinal ghost fields of free space electromagnetism or from gauge
fixing of the spinor fields that lead naturally to the emergence of the
complimentary gauge ghost fields. -- Leaving such trivial matters aside,
phenomenologically interesting is the fact that Dr. Einstein in his ghostly
encore apparently bitterly complained that his two carnal residues were
kept in the same box. "Too close together", he said. The dearly departed
objected in these ghost field records that he finds this intimate proximity
of his brain and foreskin to be unacceptable and un-kosher, as it may
lead to the wrong impression and faulty conclusion that he once was a
dick-head or a schmuck face.



Ads
  #2  
Old March 31st 08 posted to sci.physics,sci.physics.relativity,de.sci.physik
Eric Gisse
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 18,191
Default Einstein's carnal legacy

On Mar 31, 11:10*am, "hanson" wrote:
API/UPI * *-------------------------- * * * Ulm's city news service.
Ulmer Stadtzeitung -- *By Karl Peter Stachel, 04-01-2008.


[...]

I can't tell - did you fall for it because of your anti-Einstein
tendencies, or did you expect us to fall for it? Or both?
  #3  
Old March 31st 08 posted to sci.physics,sci.physics.relativity,de.sci.physik
Helmut Wabnig
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 793
Default Einstein's carnal legacy

On Mon, 31 Mar 2008 19:10:24 GMT, "hanson" wrote:

API/UPI -------------------------- Ulm's city news service.
Ulmer Stadtzeitung -- By Karl Peter Stachel, 04-01-2008.

***** Einstein's Foreskin Found. *****


Ahahaha...another Holy Praeputium,,,,adding to the galores
of Sancta Sanctissima collections of Xianity&Jewry..hahaha
too bad is the issuing date of the news report, too bad,
unfortunately, but it sounds so good...hahahah..

There are many (of course) original Praeputiae of our
Lord Jesus Christ, the Lateran Praeputium,
the Charroux Praeputium, Antwerpen, Calcata,
and several other Circumcisa Caro Christi,
thanks to Lucas. II,21.

Into what church will they put that new Sanctum Sanctorum?
Any ideas or proposals?

hahaha,
w.

(TOFU for Holy Reasons):

Under special arrangements with Ulm's urban renewal and
redevelopment agency, German archeologists from the University
of Munich were granted a few days for archeological investigations
on the Ulmer Bahnhofstrasse, prior to the begin of demolition
activities by city construction crews.

There, in Einstein's house of birth on Bahnhofstrasse 20, in Ulm,
they discovered behind an alcove an old, sealed perfume bottle,
filled with formalin and labeled as "Von userem liebsten Albertle,
14. März 1879" (From our dearest Baby Albert).
It turned out that the small, grayish lump within the bottle was originally
Einstein's foreskin and was kept there on the wishes of his mother.

The find was hailed as very significant by Einstein's disciples to
whom this artifact appears to be as dear as the Dead Sea scrolls
are to Christianity.

The current Ulmer Moel, Ariel Meir-Cohn, was consulted and he
asserted that the foreskin could have been indeed a sentimental
keep sake by Einstein's parents, in memory of their Baby Albert's
circumcision on 14 March, 1879 .

To verify, the descendents of the then operative Moel in charge, circa
1879, Baruch Messerman, were located and interviewed by local TV
and the investigations are continuing into this just breaking story. The
Messermans said that they would check their family records at home
and in their synagogue for further clues.

Meanwhile, Einstein's penile residue was flown to McMaster in the USA
who maintains a "brain bank" where Einstein's brain has been preserved
in a jar. Einstein's pickled brain and his foreskin and will undergo
DNA analysis to see whether the two have something in common.

-----------------------------


Berkley, CA. --- Herald Clarion wire dispatch --- 04-01-2008

Referring to the above "Ulm" item the respected Herald Clarion will
report in tomorrow's edition that researchers from the LaVey Institute for
Advanced Optics have made holographic records of more than 2 doz.
video/audio apparitions of Einstein's ghostly appearance in the locale
where his pickled brain and his foreskin do reside these days. The
2 lead scientists, Rabbinical Professor Stickel Gruber and Professor
Dzhugashvili are in disagreement whether the phenomena occurred
due to optical Faraday effects of irreducible tensorials in R(3) of the
longitudinal ghost fields of free space electromagnetism or from gauge
fixing of the spinor fields that lead naturally to the emergence of the
complimentary gauge ghost fields. -- Leaving such trivial matters aside,
phenomenologically interesting is the fact that Dr. Einstein in his ghostly
encore apparently bitterly complained that his two carnal residues were
kept in the same box. "Too close together", he said. The dearly departed
objected in these ghost field records that he finds this intimate proximity
of his brain and foreskin to be unacceptable and un-kosher, as it may
lead to the wrong impression and faulty conclusion that he once was a
dick-head or a schmuck face.



  #4  
Old April 1st 08 posted to sci.physics,sci.physics.relativity,de.sci.physik
panteltje@yahoo.com
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 90
Default Einstein's carnal legacy

On 31 mrt, 21:10, "hanson" wrote:
API/UPI -------------------------- Ulm's city news service.
Ulmer Stadtzeitung -- By Karl Peter Stachel, 04-01-2008.

***** Einstein's Foreskin Found. *****

Under special arrangements with Ulm's urban renewal and
redevelopment agency, German archeologists from the University
of Munich were granted a few days for archeological investigations
on the Ulmer Bahnhofstrasse, prior to the begin of demolition
activities by city construction crews.


This article is possibly not correct,
as I was told when young, that the foreskins were burried, and then
grew to be policemen.

  #5  
Old April 4th 08 posted to sci.physics,sci.physics.relativity,de.sci.physik
hanson
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 8,066
Default Einstein's carnal legacy

wrote in message
...

wrote:n
API/UPI -------------------------- Ulm's city news service.
Ulmer Stadtzeitung -- By Karl Peter Stachel, 04-01-2008.
------------***** Einstein's Foreskin Found. *****---------------
Under special arrangements with Ulm's urban renewal and
redevelopment agency, German archeologists from the University
of Munich were granted a few days for archeological investigations
on the Ulmer Bahnhofstrasse, prior to the begin of demolition
activities by city construction crews.... etc, etc, etc.. more he
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.physics/msg/21c76e474a0a0404

Pante wrote:
This article is possibly not correct, as I was told when young,
that the foreskins were burried, and then grew to be policemen.

hanson wrote:
ahahahaha... Hey, Pante, how are ya?... Long time no talk.
How are the tulips in your swinging & beautiful Land of Nethern?
Listen, Pante, you maybe quite right with your assessment.
But nevertheless, there is that ancient maxim that 2 Wrongs
make 1 Right... you know,.. the "Big Lie" thing...

So then, Pante, most of the policemen in Holland are Jewish,
huh?... Interesting, but that's really no surprise, because over here,
Bush has selected a Jew, Mike Chertoff, son of a rabbi, as chief
policeman to clean up the mess that his ilk got us into.

He and his agents are doing an admirable job to police the
airports where they not only frisk 80 year old grandmas but lately
have taken pliers to rip off & tear out nipple-rings from the boobs
of women... De-metallizing mammalia!. This is not an April joke,
Pante: see: 222,000 google hits for --[ Airport Nipple ring ]---...

Presumably next in line will be the ripping off and tearing out from/
off cocks, testicles, labias and ****s any and all metal bars, bells,
belly button ornaments or any other skin embedded jewelry...

Are you sure, Pante, that these foreskins did grow up to be not
cops but Kapos instead ?... All this has the odious smell of KZ
practices 60 years ago... Oye weh!... Trust me!... Go figure!
.... ahahaha...
Thanks for the laughs, Pante... ahahaha... ahahahanson



  #6  
Old April 4th 08 posted to sci.physics,sci.physics.relativity,de.sci.physik
Androcles[_7_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 6,108
Default Einstein's carnal legacy



--
This message is brought to you by Androcles
http://www.androcles01.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/
"hanson" wrote in message
news:XigJj.9927$s27.898@trnddc02...
| wrote in message
| ...
|
| wrote:n
| API/UPI -------------------------- Ulm's city news service.
| Ulmer Stadtzeitung -- By Karl Peter Stachel, 04-01-2008.
| ------------***** Einstein's Foreskin Found. *****---------------
| Under special arrangements with Ulm's urban renewal and
| redevelopment agency, German archeologists from the University
| of Munich were granted a few days for archeological investigations
| on the Ulmer Bahnhofstrasse, prior to the begin of demolition
| activities by city construction crews.... etc, etc, etc.. more he
| http://groups.google.com/group/sci.physics/msg/21c76e474a0a0404
|
| Pante wrote:
| This article is possibly not correct, as I was told when young,
| that the foreskins were burried, and then grew to be policemen.
|
| hanson wrote:
| ahahahaha... Hey, Pante, how are ya?... Long time no talk.
| How are the tulips in your swinging & beautiful Land of Nethern?
| Listen, Pante, you maybe quite right with your assessment.
| But nevertheless, there is that ancient maxim that 2 Wrongs
| make 1 Right... you know,.. the "Big Lie" thing...
|
| So then, Pante, most of the policemen in Holland are Jewish,
| huh?... Interesting, but that's really no surprise, because over here,
| Bush has selected a Jew, Mike Chertoff, son of a rabbi, as chief
| policeman to clean up the mess that his ilk got us into.
|
| He and his agents are doing an admirable job to police the
| airports where they not only frisk 80 year old grandmas but lately
| have taken pliers to rip off & tear out nipple-rings from the boobs
| of women... De-metallizing mammalia!. This is not an April joke,
| Pante: see: 222,000 google hits for --[ Airport Nipple ring ]---...
|
| Presumably next in line will be the ripping off and tearing out from/
| off cocks, testicles, labias and ****s any and all metal bars, bells,
| belly button ornaments or any other skin embedded jewelry...
|
| Are you sure, Pante, that these foreskins did grow up to be not
| cops but Kapos instead ?... All this has the odious smell of KZ
| practices 60 years ago... Oye weh!... Trust me!... Go figure!
| ... ahahaha...
| Thanks for the laughs, Pante... ahahaha... ahahahanson

It's the policeman's helmet that makes it happen.
Look at these pricks:
http://www.apartyshop.co.uk/acatalog/medium_9217.jpg
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/grap...6/nlaws106.jpg
http://www.mr-bens.co.uk/images/www....umb/helmet.jpg
One of them must be Smiffy.



  #7  
Old April 4th 08 posted to sci.physics,sci.physics.relativity,de.sci.physik
hanson
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 8,066
Default Einstein's carnal legacy


"Androcles" wrote in message
...
This message is brought to you by Androcles
http://www.androcles01.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/
"

" wrote in
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.p...cb85f6f1892c6c
wrote in message

wrote:
API/UPI -------------------------- Ulm's city news service.
Ulmer Stadtzeitung -- By Karl Peter Stachel, 04-01-2008.
------------***** Einstein's Foreskin Found. *****---------------
Under special arrangements with Ulm's urban renewal and
redevelopment agency, German archeologists from the University
of Munich were granted a few days for archeological investigations
on the Ulmer Bahnhofstrasse, prior to the begin of demolition
activities by city construction crews.... etc, etc, etc.. more he
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.physics/msg/21c76e474a0a0404
|

Pante wrote:
This article is possibly not correct, as I was told when young,
that the foreskins were burried, and then grew to be policemen.
|

hanson wrote:
ahahahaha... Hey, Pante, how are ya?... Long time no talk.
How are the tulips in your swinging & beautiful Land of Nethern?
Listen, Pante, you maybe quite right with your assessment.
But nevertheless, there is that ancient maxim that 2 Wrongs
make 1 Right... you know,.. the "Big Lie" thing...
|

huh?... Interesting, but that's really no surprise, because over here,
Bush has selected a Jew, Mike Chertoff, son of a rabbi, as chief
policeman to clean up the mess that his ilk got us into.
|

He and his agents are doing an admirable job to police the
airports where they not only frisk 80 year old grandmas but lately
have taken pliers to rip off & tear out nipple-rings from the boobs
of women... De-metallizing mammalia!. This is not an April joke,
Pante: see: 222,000 google hits for --[ Airport Nipple ring ]---...
|

Presumably next in line will be the ripping off and tearing out from/
off cocks, testicles, labias and ****s any and all metal bars, bells,
belly button ornaments or any other skin embedded jewelry...
|

Are you sure, Pante, that these foreskins did grow up to be not
cops but Kapos instead ?... All this has the odious smell of KZ
practices 60 years ago... Oye weh!... Trust me!... Go figure!
.... ahahaha...
Thanks for the laughs, Pante... ahahaha... ahahahanson

Andro wrote:
It's the policeman's helmet that makes it happen.
Look at these pricks:
http://www.apartyshop.co.uk/acatalog/medium_9217.jpg
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/grap...6/nlaws106.jpg
http://www.mr-bens.co.uk/images/www....umb/helmet.jpg
One of them must be Smiffy.

hanson wrote:
No, that's is not "Smiffy", whoever that is. This is **Mike Edwards**,
before his liver gave out on him. I swear!... and he was no dick-head:
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.math/msg/0d36a0a6d637ef50
hanson




  #8  
Old April 4th 08 posted to sci.physics,sci.physics.relativity,de.sci.physik
Androcles[_7_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 6,108
Default Einstein's carnal legacy



--
This message is brought to you by Androcles
http://www.androcles01.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/
"hanson" wrote in message
news:GctJj.72$_I1.10@trnddc02...
|
| "Androcles" wrote in message
| ...
| This message is brought to you by Androcles
| http://www.androcles01.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/
| "
| " wrote in
| http://groups.google.com/group/sci.p...cb85f6f1892c6c
| wrote in message
|
| wrote:
| API/UPI -------------------------- Ulm's city news service.
| Ulmer Stadtzeitung -- By Karl Peter Stachel, 04-01-2008.
| ------------***** Einstein's Foreskin Found. *****---------------
| Under special arrangements with Ulm's urban renewal and
| redevelopment agency, German archeologists from the University
| of Munich were granted a few days for archeological investigations
| on the Ulmer Bahnhofstrasse, prior to the begin of demolition
| activities by city construction crews.... etc, etc, etc.. more he
| http://groups.google.com/group/sci.physics/msg/21c76e474a0a0404
| |
| Pante wrote:
| This article is possibly not correct, as I was told when young,
| that the foreskins were burried, and then grew to be policemen.
| |
| hanson wrote:
| ahahahaha... Hey, Pante, how are ya?... Long time no talk.
| How are the tulips in your swinging & beautiful Land of Nethern?
| Listen, Pante, you maybe quite right with your assessment.
| But nevertheless, there is that ancient maxim that 2 Wrongs
| make 1 Right... you know,.. the "Big Lie" thing...
| |
| huh?... Interesting, but that's really no surprise, because over here,
| Bush has selected a Jew, Mike Chertoff, son of a rabbi, as chief
| policeman to clean up the mess that his ilk got us into.
| |
| He and his agents are doing an admirable job to police the
| airports where they not only frisk 80 year old grandmas but lately
| have taken pliers to rip off & tear out nipple-rings from the boobs
| of women... De-metallizing mammalia!. This is not an April joke,
| Pante: see: 222,000 google hits for --[ Airport Nipple ring ]---...
| |
| Presumably next in line will be the ripping off and tearing out from/
| off cocks, testicles, labias and ****s any and all metal bars, bells,
| belly button ornaments or any other skin embedded jewelry...
| |
| Are you sure, Pante, that these foreskins did grow up to be not
| cops but Kapos instead ?... All this has the odious smell of KZ
| practices 60 years ago... Oye weh!... Trust me!... Go figure!
| ... ahahaha...
| Thanks for the laughs, Pante... ahahaha... ahahahanson
|
| Andro wrote:
| It's the policeman's helmet that makes it happen.
| Look at these pricks:
| http://www.apartyshop.co.uk/acatalog/medium_9217.jpg
| http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/grap...6/nlaws106.jpg
| http://www.mr-bens.co.uk/images/www....umb/helmet.jpg
| One of them must be Smiffy.
|
| hanson wrote:
| No, that's is not "Smiffy", whoever that is.

You know Smiffy. The gay usenet cop, calls everybody "Darling" or "Dear"
or something and says how welcome we all are to sci.physics, but reports
abuse to gawd knows who. I can just picture him in a plastic bobby hat.


| This is **Mike Edwards**,
| before his liver gave out on him. I swear!... and he was no dick-head:
| http://groups.google.com/group/sci.math/msg/0d36a0a6d637ef50
| hanson
|
|
|
|


 




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