.... designed to throw up terms such as "idiot", "Hey, stooooooooopid!",
"wrong." and so forth, more-or-less at random, and attach them to
postings in sci.physics and sci.physics.relativity.

I believe they're currently working on an intelligent-design upgrade,
but have so far encountered insuperable difficulties.

I don't care what he is. The only important thing for me is HE LICKS
ME!!

wrote:
I don't care what he is. The only important thing for me is HE LICKS
ME!!

He could lick you with one hand tied behind his .... um ..... errr .....

Too Many Kooks Spoil the Brothel wrote:
... designed to throw up terms such as "idiot", "Hey, stooooooooopid!",
"wrong." and so forth, more-or-less at random, and attach them to
postings in sci.physics and sci.physics.relativity.

I believe they're currently working on an intelligent-design upgrade,
but have so far encountered insuperable difficulties.

I think it's time for the Uncle Al computer program to be
deleted or receive an intelligent-design upgrade, as I am tired
of its idiotic and limited responses. Its current software code
is grotesquely stupid. For example, one poster asked a question
about "The Twin Paradox in a Closed Universe."
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.p...0e61bf6317beae
Upon scanning the message, the Uncle Al program could only
recognize the words "Twin Paradox" so it then spit out the
most typical non-thinking response:
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.p...bf76b7c039522f

A smarter program would be able to crosscheck "Twin Paradox"
and "Closed Universe," "Spatially Compact Universe," etc. out
of a larger database and then post an amazingly knowledgeable
and reasonable response:
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.p...9ac8581a6148f2

"Too Many Kooks Spoil the Brothel" wrote
in oups.com...
... designed to throw up terms such as "idiot", "Hey, stooooooooopid!",
"wrong." and so forth, more-or-less at random, and attach them to
postings in sci.physics and sci.physics.relativity.
I believe they're currently working on an intelligent-design upgrade,
but have so far encountered insuperable difficulties.

[hanson]
"Uncle AL is a computer program".... hardly, but he sure acts like
one, a bad one at that. The fact of his act is that the poor sod
has personal issues which have ****ed him over and up, besides
him having the nefarious property that whenever he infests and
****es into a news group its quality goes rapidly down the urinAL
...... but to me, uncleAL, the rectAL, no matter how anAL he is....
he remains a great source of laughs..... ahahahaha... AHAHAHA...
Here is a partial CV of rectAL ex-uncleAL, behaving anAL:

Kevin Long wrote:
So, just because Dick Face [Al] posts a link it must be good?
His [Al's] problem is that everything he reads on the internet he trusts.
That should tell you all really what were are dealing with here.
Stupidity runs wild ... inside his, [Al's] head ...

[Al]
Another critic troll brainfarts. No contribution, only complaint.

[hanson]
ahahaha... AHAHAHA... But, Al, Kevin did NOT criticize you.
He evaluated you. That is a contribution of no less value than
is your retort to him. It looks like you are complaining more than
he does... ahahaha... ... Either way, Al, how come you are so
touchy and sensitive lately?... Your divorce?... The China thing?
what?.... ahahaha... ahahanson
PS: Do me the honors now again Al, and peel out carefully
and painstakingly all the "ahaha... AHAHAs". It is good therapy
for you..... and it makes me go: AHAHAHAHA...ahahahaha...
Idiot.Uncle Al.

[hanson]
..... ahahaha... hanson's hook in Al's mouth is working like a charm...
Al is following hanson's therapy exactly as ordered... ... ahahaha...
AHAHAHA.... ahahaha... and so, as requested by uncle Al
here are more of his urinAl diamonds:
in k.net
that contains the whole Roast with tidbits like this:
Let's never forget that Al's nemesis, Archibald Plutonium, made
it into the "Discovery Magazine" but smart Al Schwartz never did.
ahahaha... AHAHAHA.... ahahaha:..... perhaps because urinAl
was caught in the act of blatantly PLAGIARIZING as in
ink.net...
with lots of other great "ahahaha... AHAHAHA..." stuff like in
where Al insists that
"You cannot imagine what it is like for the Gifted to be immersed in a
society of people like yourself." .... urinAl continued in his same post with:
"Orange County Mensa (top 2% for entry) has at least two members with
IQs in excess of 190. One is a slumbunny elementary school teacher,
the other is an unemployed programmer."... ... ...and then there is you,
urinAl, who must have learned at your Mensa club how to Menstruate.

ahahaha... AHAHAHA... ahahaha... AHAHAHA.... ahahanson

[hanson reminded Al now for the nth time about]
ink.net
wherein it said:
---------
" Whenever you see someone commenting about "ahaha...
AHAHAHA" you know right off the bat that you've got a real
stupid fool & uptight mooch on your hands worth having big
time fun with".
--------
ahahaha... AHAHAHA.... AHAHAHA... ahahaha...

------ The whole Roast of uncle Al Schwartz's farts -----

"Richard Schultz" wrote in message
... in a kinda angry fashion
to uncle Al. But Richard missed that he started a great post for
an outright hilarious ROAST for uncle Al....... ahahaha... AHAHA...
Let's never forget that Al's nemesis, Archibald Plutonium, made
it into "Discovery Magazine" but smart Al Schwartz never did.
ahahaha... AHAHAHA.... ahahaha:

In article ,
Uncle Al wrote:
: : We're three weeks into the three month full parity
: : Eotvos experiment run, Schultzy.
:
: Richard Schultz wrote:
: You said that the results would be obtained by August.
: What happened?

[Al]
: Science. Learn how to do a clean experiment -
: and what to do if it isn't clean when you try it.

[Richard]
Interesting how your story keeps changing, as it always does.
So when are we going to see those kg-sized diamonds?

[Al]
: : Here's a challenge for you, inorganiker. Two Co(3+) chelated
: : by three1,2-ethylenebis-5,5-(2,2'-bipyridyl) ligands form a nice
: : threefold helicate, total charge +6. Propose a reasonably
: : isomorphous helicate-forming ligand that gives me a
: : corresponding -6 charge as counterion.

[Richard]
: First you can give us a reference for your claim that the Wisconsin
: cryptosporidium outbreak was due to EPA regulations about
: chlorination of water.

[Al]
: Fine, you can't do it. Uncle Al will propose what he has.

[Richard]
I take it that you now admit that you cannot provide any references for
any of the statements to which I referred (reasonably enough, since
all of them were manifestly untrue). Too bad that you (like most bullies)
are essentially a coward and lack the guts to admit that you were wrong.

It's really too bad that you avoided taking the opportunity to go to
Vietnam (using your time much more productively by flunking out of
grad school). It would have given you such a great chance to beat up
on people who had the great disadvantage of not being Caucasian.
And your well-known disdain for authority would have come in handy
when your platoon voted on whether or not to frag the lieutenant.

[hanson]
Al said in ... that he got a
B.Sc. in chemistry from Moo U and then he became an industrial chemist,
apparently never getting into the upper echelons, which may be the reason
why he attacks and denigrates "management" on every occasion. But, may
be that was not his fault because of the industrial accident that he suffered
which could have turned him into damaged goods with some peculiar
personality disorders. So, Rich, be not too hard onto uncle Al for his
particular cross that he bears. It may be much heavier then normal ones....
and it may be chirally twisted... as he himself complains (see below).

[Richard]
It really bothers you [Al] that you can't bully me, doesn't it. Perhaps it
should bother you more that not only are you incapable of calculating
time zone differences, you don't even know the difference between an
inorganic and a physical chemist.
Richard Schultz, , Chemistry, Bar-Ilan University,
Israel
-----
[Richard quotes Al]
"A mensch takes personal responsiblity for his actions.
When demonstrated to be empirically wrong a mensch
admits error and becomes a better mensch." "Uncle Al"
Schwartz, in

[hanson]
But Richard,.... ahahaha... you must understand that Al never makes
mistakes, lies or changes his stories... Al is **evolving**, which means
that he and his opinions do change...... AHAHAHA.... for reasons
beyond his control, of course... ahahaha... AHAHAHA... ahaha...

So, since you, Richard, talked about "us" let me say that I actually like
uncle Al's less abridged CV much better. It provides more laughs...
for one can ask "Uncle Al" , who is so full
of **** & HAc: "Hey, you!... UncleanAl... UncleAn0... yo!, UrinAl"....
== If you are as smart as you say you are and claim to have
the right answer to everything, then how come that you all you
can afford is a 1989 Volks wagon Golf GL(1) ... ahahaha
..... smart, really smart, urinAl....... ahahaha... AHAHAHA....
== If you are as smart as you say you are then how come
that your wife made you file for divorce (2) ... ahahaha...
.... smart, really smart, urinAl....... ahahaha... AHAHAHA....
== If you are as smart as you say you are then how come
that a laugh like : "AHAHAHA..... ahaha... AHAHAHA....." (3)
does crank you more that it cranks lesser idiots?... ahahaha...
.... smart, really smart, urinAl....... ahahaha... AHAHAHA....

(1) in ... Al says:
"1989 VW Golf GL.... for at least another 11 years."
(2) ink.net
(3) nk.net...
(4) ink.net...
says PLAGIARIZER "Uncle Al" did it AGAIN!
(5) where Al insists that
"You cannot imagine what it is like for the Gifted to be immersed in a
society of people like yourself." .... urinAl continued in his same post with:
"Orange County Mensa (top 2% for entry) has at least two members with
IQs in excess of 190. One is a slumbunny elementary school teacher,
the other is an unemployed programmer."...and then there is you, urinAl,
....who must have learned at your Mensa club how to Menstruate.

..... AHAHAHA... ahaha... in ...
"Uncle Al" aka Schwartz sneered out of his
urinAl at poster Schoenfeld:
Al: " I, am the right hand of vengeance."
Al: " I, am the last living thing you are ever going to remember."
Al: " I am truth incarnate. GOD SENT ME. "

... ahaha... so, God sent an avenging loudmouth, the size of an urinAl
into the world, as in .. ,
to state: "Uncle Al was a professional sperm donor.... I did 6 cm^3
and got applause." .... Al never stated how many dozens of shots
it took him to get the 6 cc's... ahahaha..... AHAHAHA... but, after
said fun and applause was over he announced in his message
...
"Uncle Al votes "no." No kids." ..... Kinda sad, as this made him
bitter in his old age now and he is showing that in his posts, saying:
... (kill geriatics),
... (Death)
.... and in Al vows to
"**** the poor, stupid, and crippled. Invest in the future you want."
and so Al did in "a 1989 VW Golf GL for at least another 11 years."
........ ahahaha... AHAHAHA....ahaha..... AHAHAHAHAHA.....

More & to your credit, Al, you've invented a cockroach repellant
but never sold any of it ..... and then you announced that you are
going to produce gem quality kilogram sized diamonds, from
about 1996 to 2005, to be grown in your "Devil Solvent", apparently
a very, very slow growth medium/matrix, which could explain why
none of your diamonds have reached neither the karat and much
less the kg size state ... yet...... ahahaha..... AHAHAHA.....

So, no $$ from cockroaches nor from the devil, but like a true searcher,
and as an "autodidact", you, Al, decided to take on Einstein, in a chiral
fashion, to prove him wrong..... after you saw that Wei Tou-Ni group
of the NTHua Uni in Taiwan[?] or (PR China [?]. Stray thought 7/12/05)
were conducting an Eotvoes XP. The results will be in, per your own
prognosis, mid September 2005. ----- Then a stroke of true geniuos
hit you in ... on July 06,
2005, when you stated: "I, [Al] looked to sci.physics as a resource
to massage heterodox but empirically allowable ideas. I have no
imaginable use for the toolbox past mid-September" ... ahahaha....
I must give credit where credit due, Al. That is a brilliant exit strategy!
ahahaha... AHAHAHA....

Now, tell me why I shouldn't ROTFLMAO....ahaha... AHAHAHAHA....
over all this. You are ****ing funny, Al. Hilarious actually. But, not
much else. ---- And, for all those laughs that you have provided you
are entitled to be Al Schwartz, the one "stooopid idiot", .... ahahaha....
......which will bring great distress to your chief admirer & disciple
Herbie Glaser aka "G=EMC^2 Glazier"
AHAHAHAHA...... ahahahaha.... AHAHAHA....... carry on, Al....
There must be laughter in the world, or we turn out like you, Al,
but anyway, Thanks for all the laughs, Al.....ahahaha.... AHAHAHA....

Al, write ****ing book, a distillation of your posts... and make some
money, finally . If I am in your neighborhood, I'll be there at the
book signing and make propaganda for you...... ahahahaha....

Richard, see: Al is a very great humanitarian, to boot. Al gives advice to
anybody whether they like it or not, and he becomes excruciatingly
grief-stricken and mad when your laugh at him. All these faults you see
in Al "empirically", do not matter because he compensates for them in
full when he mentors his grateful NG disciples who are mostly lazy and
"stooopid" students for whom Al does their homework, only to turn around
and to bitch loudly and complain that the educational system is bad....
ahahaha... ahahahanson

Thanks for the laughs, you guys...... ahahaha....
ahahaha.... ahahanson

On Sat, 20 Aug 2005 14:42:26 GMT, "hanson" wrote:

[hanson reminded Al now for the nth time about]
link.net
wherein it said:
---------
" Whenever you see someone commenting about "ahaha...
AHAHAHA" you know right off the bat that you've got a real
stupid fool & uptight mooch on your hands worth having big
time fun with".
--------
ahahaha... AHAHAHA.... AHAHAHA... ahahaha...

I've been experimenting with your "ahahaha" technique for a while and
I must admit that it works like a charm. It gets them foaming and
writhing in exquisite pain like a slug in salted lime juice.
ahahaha... ahahaha...AHAHAHAH... ahahaha...

Louis Savain

Why Software Is Bad and What We Can Do to Fix It:
http://www.rebelscience.org/Cosas/Reliability.htm

Uncle al has 1 xmass present in my cleveland wearhouse . Its a nuke
flame job Hummer wheelchair custom . Its been there for a few years ,,
never found out where to send it.
I dont like the moron ,,but credit goes where credit is due. my xmass
list is 1 million bucks to evryone on the list. I dont pick the xmass
list on a nead base . I use a base that is only
relivant personal contributions.
each year I pick 50 more.
al earned his hummer for a statement about native indians . Im alaskan
russian indian.
It was one point and not his intension and not directed at me ..but I
used that statement for alaskan indians and stole the quote.
so Uncle al still has a hummer in the cleveland shed. I had forgoten
all about it.

On Sat, 20 Aug 2005 11:35:49 -0400, Traveler
wrote:

On Sat, 20 Aug 2005 14:42:26 GMT, "hanson" wrote:

[hanson reminded Al now for the nth time about]
hlink.net
wherein it said:
---------
" Whenever you see someone commenting about "ahaha...
AHAHAHA" you know right off the bat that you've got a real
stupid fool & uptight mooch on your hands worth having big
time fun with".
--------
ahahaha... AHAHAHA.... AHAHAHA... ahahaha...

I've been experimenting with your "ahahaha" technique for a while and
I must admit that it works like a charm. It gets them foaming and
writhing in exquisite pain like a slug in salted lime juice.
ahahaha... ahahaha...AHAHAHAH... ahahaha...

sometimes that ahahaha is indeed funny, where it fits.
hanson's writing style has some entertaining qualities,
but a la longue it becomes boring 'cause there is
no factual content in his ramblings, nothing but emptiness.

uhuhuhuhuuu UHUHUHUUUU huhuhuuu
what about any other new variations?
ohohohohoho OHOHOHOHOOOO

w.

"tj Frazir" wrote in message
...
Uncle al has 1 xmass present in my cleveland wearhouse .
Its a nuke flame job Hummer wheelchair custom . Its been
there for a few years ,, never found out where to send it.
I dont like the moron ,,but credit goes where credit is due.
my xmass list is 1 million bucks to evryone on the list.
I dont pick the xmass list on a nead base . I use a base that
is only relivant personal contributions. each year I pick 50 more.
al earned his hummer for a statement about native indians .
Im alaskan russian indian.
It was one point and not his intension and not directed at me ..
but I used that statement for alaskan indians and stole the quote.
so Uncle al still has a hummer in the cleveland shed.
I had forgoten all about it.

[hanson]
.... ahahaha... no wonder you forgot , tj. It was back on 09 Mar 2004
in his , when he bragged
about himself that: "Unle Al was awakened by a world class hummer
at 0635 this morning. Greedy lady." .... ahahaha... AHAHAHA...
tj, Al was not talking about a car, ... but give him one anyway, tj, even in
your cleveland shed... Al will appreciate it greatly because Al has fallen
onto very lean hummer times since he has announced on May 14, 2005
in his message in ... , that
--------------- "Uncle Al has filed for divorce". -------------
You are a very compassionate dude, Gigante Frazir.... ahahaha...
ahahaha... ahahanson

hanson wrote:

[Richard]
It really bothers you [Al] that you can't bully me, doesn't it. Perhaps it
should bother you more that not only are you incapable of calculating
time zone differences, you don't even know the difference between an
inorganic and a physical chemist.
Richard Schultz, , Chemistry, Bar-Ilan University,
Israel
-----
[Richard quotes Al]
"A mensch takes personal responsiblity for his actions.
When demonstrated to be empirically wrong a mensch
admits error and becomes a better mensch." "Uncle Al"
Schwartz, in

That's a quality notably lacking from the postings now appearing over
his signature. The most moderate response to being argued into a
corner which he can manage is silence; insults are the more likely
result, a menschly admission of human error all but unknown.

When one behaves in the most insulting manner possible because somebody
has merely questioned him, one doesn't have much room to back up into,
does he? If you've just shouted that mistaken == fool, you can't be
mistaken.